Bittersweet

November 14, 2010

This was a hard blog post to write even though so many wonderful things have happened these last few weeks...we are getting solid online sales, we added a few new wholesale customers, we finally got our inventory shipment after a very long wait and started shipping to our online customers and wholesale customers. Whooohoooo!!! We had a launch event on Zulily which was a rousing success and a great way for us to build brand awareness and we even got written about on The Stir! I mean, it has just been AMAZING. The most amazing news though was that i found that the day we got back from Las Vegas that my little girl was going to be a big sister...How exciting that was for me and my family and a great wrap up to our launch!!! I was pregnant again with baby #2 and i was SOOOO looking forward to all the wonderful feelings of pregnancy, a growing belly, my new world as a mompreneur and even rocking my own collection:) It was perfect!

Last week I was officially 8 weeks pregnant and was counting down the days until we could share the wonderful news with all our friends and extended family. I was going to be a mommy again! It would be perfect and I would no longer need to fake drinking my wine when hanging out with friends or lie about why I could not hang out late because I was dead tired as is expected in the first trimester ...Until that dreadful Monday when I went in to get my routine checkup. All of the baby's measurements were great and I was feeling great too until the doctor's happy face turned into one of concern and needing to double check with another doctor...

"It's strange but I don't see a heartbeat, I'm so sorry!"...those awful words still play in my head over and over again, even right this moment. I cry every time I remember it. It was the hardest thing to hear and have to live with. My world was crashing! How was that even possible? But I felt fine, the baby seemed fine, just how??? My heart sank. How would I explain to my little girl who is 22 months that there is no longer a baby in mommy's belly? Was it something I did or did not do? Was it stress related? Was I too caught up with You! Lingerie and growing the business that I neglected myself and the baby? Did I not drink enough water or eat right or sleep enough? A million questions ran through me as I tried to get answers from my OBGYN. And even though the doctors say that there was nothing I did wrong or could have done to prevent this, I still couldn't help myself. I went back to the doctors a few days later to double and triple check that there hadn't been any mistakes but it was still the same bad news.

I am sad and heartbroken!!! I have cried for days now! And words cannot even describe the loss I feel.

But I am still grateful and thankful for all the wonderful blessings I have. My beautiful daughter who inspired me to start this journey, my supportive husband who is my rock and my family who continue to encourage me. And I have faith that everything will be alright... And I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason even when it is hard for us to see and understand it (because I still don't understand it). So as hard as this is to share with you all, I hope that my story will touch and inspire someone in a positive way to be hopeful and trust God (or whatever higher power you believe in).

I hope that someday soon, I can get over this.



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  1. Measure your band size

Wearing your bra, take a snug measurement around your ribcage, directly under your bust and keep level all around. If you get an odd number, round up to the next even number. This is your band size.

  1. Measure your bust size

Take a loose measurement over the fullest part of your bust, keeping the tape level around your body. If needed, round up to the nearest inch.

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Subtract your band size from your bust size, and use the difference to find your cup size on the chart below.

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